Tales of the Dreaded
Pirate Brothers of Mustache Mountain
A Mother's Treasure
Chapter 1
Iron Jenny Vane was
swabbing the decks of her family ship, the Iron Falcon when,
suddenly, she heard a creak. She whipped around, best she could in
her pregnant state, only to find herself staring into the steely eyes
of the Dreaded Pirate Brothers of Mustache Mountain.
“Arggh, Wench, we are
here for yer treasure!”, Robert the Red sneered as he grabbed her
wrists and motioned at Robert the Yellow to hand him some rope.
“We're takin' ye ashore to do us some treasure huntin'!”
“Don't be ridiculous,”
Jenny Vane sneered back, “do it look to you like I can do any sort
of huntin' in me knockered state.” She struggled to free herself
from fierce Robert the Red as he began to tie her hands together with
the rope he had snatched from Robert the Yellow.
“Knackered, Wench, ye
look me a bit on the rotund side but sober still!”
“Not knackered, ye
bilge rat with a tongue, knockered! Ye see me size, whaddya think, I just
swallowed a whale whole!”
Robert the Red and
Robert the Yellow took a good, long, wide look at poor Jenny Vane,
and indeed, the woman was as round as though she had been stuck in a
giant barrel of rum and had no more than her head, arms and legs
hanging out.
“Blimey, me lady,”
Robert the Yellow looked sympathetically at her tummy and then
bellowed up at her, “Don't make no difference, its off to treasure
huntin' or off the plank with yer belly of rum, ye hear!
All the while, below
deck, Jenny Vene's sister Pirate in-law, Iron Bess Flint and her
husband, Iron Harry Kidd, were hidden and listening. “Should we
help her, poor lass?” Bess Flint whispered at Harry Kidd.
“I have me a better
plan,” he snickered, “let the heavy laden wench lead them in
circles, while we head to Mariposa Cove, then we will see who's
treasure be ours by sundown!” Harry Flint threw back his head, his
wild mane of hair and beard smacking Bess Flint in the face.
“You may have the pelt
of an Australian camel but a smart mate ye are, quiet now til' they
finish with her.” The pair stayed crouched in the furthest corner
of the ship's brig where they had been laying new straw in
anticipation of their raid on Mexico Valley. There was a big, Iron
Pirate Family plan to recapture Iron Mann Barracuda and his handsome,
stolen lass, Portugal Peggy, who were hiding out with what was
rumoured to be more loot than any inhabitant of Piratedom had ever
seen. Mann Barracuda had disappeared earlier in the pirate season
only to return from the South with Portugal Peggy and the grandest
ship ever to grace the seas. It was made of real Portuguese Oak and
embellished with jewels, gold and silk sails, at least this is what
Mann Barracuda claimed. To all others the ship looked rather dank
and drab, not a trace of brass anywhere. Mann Barracuda said he had
covered the ship in tar in order to smuggle the great treasures out
of Portugal, disguising its hidden glories by building it with the
spoils of every man's ship he had ransacked on his journey. When he
disappeared from the Iron Pirate Family Lagoon, those left behind
vowed to track him down and divvy up the spoils between themselves.
Bess Flint cringed as
the sound of a scuffle began above her.
“Ahoy, skullywaggs,
what makes thee think I'll be going anywhere with ye! And what makes
ye think that if I do, I'll lead you to me treasure?”
Robert the Red squinted
at her, then back at Robert the Yellow, “Because if ye don't, our
parrots will do thee the favor of making space in yer pretty face fer
some wooden eyes!” He cackled like an old drunk woman in a young
man's arms, his golden teeth glinting in the sun. “Boys!”, he
whistled toward the crow's nest.
Two mangy parrots
swooped down, alighting, one on each of Jenny Vane's shoulders.
“Wooden eyes, wooden eyes.” they chirped merrily.
Disgusted, Jenny Vane
began the short walk to the side of the ship where Robert the Yellow
motioned for her to get in a net the brothers had hoisted onto the
deck. She shrugged off their taunts, sending the parrots flapping
above her ears as she laid herself carefully on her back, into the
net.
“Yer one heck of a
catch wobbly wench, too bad we can't eat ye ourselves!” Robert the
Red made sure she was tightly wrapped in the net then yelled to
Robert the Yellow, who was waiting for the signal to start the rusty
pulley, “She's ready, hoist the lass up!”
Robert the Yellow began
cranking the reel until it rose high enough to pass over the side of
the ship. His brother gave Jenny Vane's rump a push and the net
swung over the dingy tied to the side of the Iron Falcon, he then
waved as Robert the Yellow reversed his cranking and the net began to
lower. “Get over there ye stupid swine, don't want her escapin'
now do we!”
Robert the Red grabbed a
rope tied to a brass nob and shimmied down into the dingy where Jenny
Vane had landed with a thud and jangle. “What are ye, full of
empty bottles?” He peered down at her, “We'll keep ye there til
we get ashore, no need of nuisance from ye in the meantime.”
Robert the Yellow joined them, sitting near the back of the boat,
oars in hand, he started the half hour row to dry land.
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